Saturday, February 4, 2012
Thoughts on the death of my father
When I decided to start a blog, I didn’t plan to write anything serious. I figured I would write about the video games I played, the movies I watched, etc. I never planned to write out my innermost emotions and feelings. I think I am going to take a quick detour from my original blogging plan for this one entry.
Lately, with my birthday approaching, I’ve noticed that I feel a bit empty.
I am not going through a mid-life crisis, and I haven’t traded away the family car for a Corvette. I have pretty much anything one could ever want (an amazing family, a rewarding job, and a great church).
However, this will be my first birthday without my father, who passed away in December.
It seems odd to “celebrate” without someone who was there your entire life.
I know I am not the first to ever have to go through this nor will I be the last. We all only have a small amount of time on this Earth. Knowing this still doesn’t get rid of the empty feeling.
After my father passed away, I was looking through some of his writings and notes. A couple of years ago, my father began to help teach a Sunday school class. When he prepared his lesson, he would brainstorm all of his thoughts on paper. One thing he wrote really stood out to me.
“You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.”
My father and I didn’t have a perfect relationship, but I did love him, and my world just isn’t quite right without him.
I know in time I’ll adjust, and the empty feeling will go away. It just won’t be today.
Dad, I love you and miss you. My birthday won’t be the same without you.