A Gentleman Always Carries a Handkerchief

Life has conspired against me to take a month off of the blog.  For those few faithful readers that have contacted me, I will try to get back to regular posting again.

That being said….

Recently, I was asked, “What is the most important thing that a man should always carry with him?”

I started to think of an answer and decided to stop thinking and simply look in my pockets.  Out came several items.

1.       Wallet
2.       Pocket Knife
3.       Handkerchief
4.       Car keys

That prompted several others to do the same thing.  Everyone had a wallet and car keys.  Two of the five had a pocket knife, and only one (me) had a handkerchief.

At that point, I was informed that only “old men” carry around a handkerchief.  For whatever reason, my friends never really saw fit to carry one.   One even referred to it as a “relic of days gone by.”

Then I was asked, “Why do you even carry around a handkerchief?”

My response was simple.  It’s part of the code.  The man code.  A gentleman never leaves home without his handkerchief.    

That of course generated a few jokes at my expense, but I was serious.  The handkerchief can always be used by the owner, but the best reason to carry one is to be able to give to someone else when needed.  It’s a small gesture of chivalry to give your handkerchief to another.  I can’t tell you how many times I have given my handkerchief to someone who needed to cry, someone who needed to blow a nose, someone who needed to wipe their brow, someone with a cut or mess that needed cleaned up, etc., and in each of those situations, there wasn’t a box of Kleenex or roll of Bounty paper towels available.  The handkerchief was invaluable.  Something that small and insignificant by itself became the most valuable item in my pocket.

Having a handkerchief should be an essential item in every man’s pocket.  If you don’t own one, go out and buy about 10 of them.  They are dirt cheap and won’t set you back more than a few cups of coffee.  Launder them and take a clean one with you every day.  You will be surprised how often they will come in handy.    

I never remember a time that my dad didn’t have a handkerchief or a pocketknife with him.  That’s probably why I have always carried both items with me.  The day he died, I remember removing both items out of his pockets.  I’m sure the day I die, someone is going to be doing the same with me.  Until then, if you need to cry, have a runny nose, or need to clean up a mess, I’m your man.  I’ll be glad to give you my handkerchief.

As for the pocketknife, carrying one of those is in the man code too.  I’ll touch on that subject later. 

Kayfabe and the desire to believe

Kayfabe…the reality of professional wrestling.  It’s wrestlers staying in character to put on a show.  It’s the reality of their gimmicks, their feuds, etc.  It’s their portrayal that everything they do in the ring is real.

To truly enjoy professional wrestling, you need to suspend your disbelief in what you are seeing.  You need to believe that one man wants to fight another for a specific reason, and this reason can only be settled in the ring.  You need to believe that these men are pushing themselves to their human limits for a real purpose, not to put on a fake, choreographed fight.  It’s the story of the match that sucks you in and makes you suspend that disbelief.  It’s the performance that keeps you at the edge of your seat, waiting to see what will happen next. 

It’s not often fans get taken to that place anymore.  As a kid, I wanted to believe.  Each and every match was real.  As an adult, it’s rare when I watch wrestling with the same feelings I had as a child.  With the internet, news feeds, twitter, etc., it’s hard to suspend your disbelief and “enjoy” wrestling when kayfabe is broken over and over again.  With Wrestlemania coming around the corner, I have been watching more wrestling with the hope that I will once again be able to believe (even for a moment) that what I am seeing is for real.

In the world of Kayfabe, the Undertaker is 19-0 in matches at Wrestlemania.  This incredible record is affectionately called “the streak.”  For the last two decades, this man has been unbeatable on the greatest stage of the wrestling world, Wrestlemania.  Three years ago, Shawn Michaels, largely considered to be the greatest modern day in-ring performer, challenged the Undertaker at Wrestlemania but came up short.  The next year, he demanded a rematch and put his career on the line versus the streak.  Again, he fought valiantly but lost and retired from professional wrestling.  Last year, Shawn’s best friend, multiple time world champion HHH challenged the Undertaker at Wrestlemania.  HHH used chairs and sledgehammers to destroy the Undertaker in a brutal match, but like his friend, came up short and lost.  HHH walked out of the ring the loser, but the Undertaker was unable to walk at all after the match. 

As we build towards Wrestlemania, it has come time for the Undertaker to defend his streak once again.  He wants to prove to himself that he is the better man and can beat HHH.  HHH wants one more chance to be the man who ends the streak.  Shawn Michaels has been made the special referee for the match.  Even though he is known as “Mr. Wrestlemania,” Shawn wasn’t able to end the streak.  In his quest to beat the Undertaker, he had his greatest failure and lost his career.  Is he jealous that his best friend may accomplish the one thing he couldn’t do in his career?  Does he want to be the one to help end the streak by any means necessary?  Or, will Shawn call it down the line?  Will the Undertaker keep the streak alive?  Will HHH finally put an end to the Undertaker's reign over Wrestlemania?

Is all of this real?  No, of course not, but these men are doing what they do best.  They have made me want to believe, if only for a short while, that this match means everything to all three of them.  They are fighting over something beyond a championship.  They are fighting over their legacy as professional wrestlers. 

Only a few more weeks, then I’ll know if the streak ends.  Then I can come back to reality…

Thoughts on the movie Courageous

Normally I watch movies for escapism, not realism.  However, on occasion, I do stray away from your run of the mill zombie apocalypse or alien invasion for more wholesome, family cinema.

A few days ago my wife and I watched the Christian drama “Courageous.”  Like other movies from Sherwood Pictures, the majority of the cast are not professional actors but members of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia.  Don’t let that deter you from watching this or any of their other movies.  You watch their movies for the message, not because you are looking for a cinematic masterpiece.

***Relatively Spoiler Free***

The story centers around four sheriff’s deputies who begin a journey in examining fatherhood and the need for the father to be the spiritual head of the home.  We have the father of two kids who is too busy for his oldest son, the father who feels the need to protect his family, the father who doesn’t have custody of his son, and a young man who seems to be distant when discussing issues of family.  Each has their own story and viewpoint on the meaning of fatherhood.  Eventually we meet another character named Javier who joins our deputies in their spiritual journey.  Javier is a good man, who is down on his luck, but has faith that the Lord will provide for him and his family.

An unfortunate tragedy bring these five men closer to one another and to God, and they all eventually take on a resolution to be the father that God wants them to be.

There are plenty of subplots in the movie with drugs, gangs, stolen evidence, etc.  They all really serve as backdrop for the movie to get its points across (and they will; you will get constantly reminded if somehow you missed the message).  God wants you be an involved father and to honor Him in everything you do.  Your children need that positive influence in their life.  Not having that positive, spiritual influence potentially sets them up to fail in life.      

At times, the film suffers from plot holes and a lack of coherent plot structure.  There is a whole lot that one can criticize about this movie, but if you are doing that, then you are missing the point. 

I think every father can somehow relate to at least one of the main characters in the movie.  That’s what makes the movie work.  You want to see these men stand up for God and succeed as fathers.  You are rooting for them to set the bar high and achieve it.  Hopefully, you will want that for yourself as well.

For me, I don’t want to be a “good enough father” as the movie mentions.  When I am dead and gone, I want my children to have nothing but positive memories of me.  I want them to remember a father who protected them, loved them, and demonstrated for them how to honor their heavenly Father in all that they do.  Courageous reminds me why it is so important to achieve this kind of parental legacy. 

Courageous fills a need that can’t be found in so many modern movies.  If you are in need of a positive, uplifting spiritual movie, check this one out.   You won’t be disappointed.

Adventures on Netflix--Shaolin Soccer

I’m always checking Netflix for a new family night movie.  My kids already know that I am going to try to find something off the beaten path (“culture” as we say), and last night I stumbled across a film from 2001 made by one of my favorite actors from Hong Kong, Stephen Chow.

The film….Shaolin Soccer.

A lot of folks will dismiss the movie simply because of its title, but if you take a few moments to research the movie (Metacritic, Rotten tomatoes, Wikipedia), you will learn that this is a hidden gem in the sea of Netflix mediocrity.    

(Relatively spoiler free movie discussion)

Stephen Chow plays Sing, a Kung Fu master down on his luck who is trying to figure out how to honor his deceased master and spread Kung Fu to the world.  As you can guess, he is very unsuccessful until he meets an old man named Golden Leg.  Golden Leg was a former soccer star now with a bum leg whose life was ruined when he threw a championship soccer game as a younger man.  One of his teammates named Hung was the true mastermind behind this and had Golden Leg’s leg broken so that he could never play soccer again.  Hung became the best soccer player in Hong Kong and is now an evil business man and owner of Team Evil, the best soccer team in the country.

Golden Leg convinces Sing to apply his Kung Fu skills to the game of soccer, but Sing needs a team.  He seeks out his brothers from the Shaolin temple to join him.  Each of them have forsaken their Kung Fu training and are living a miserable existence in society, never fulfilling their potential.  All of them have lost their confidence.  While trying to reunite his brothers, Sing meets Mui, a shy, awkward young woman with severe acne, who makes delicious mantou by using T’ai Chi to prepare the dough.  Like Sing’s brothers, Mui has never reached her full potential and truly embraced Kung Fu as the center of her life. 

Without spoiling the plot too much, Sing and his brothers (Iron Head, Hooking Leg, Iron Shirt, Empty Hand, Mighty Steel Leg, and Light Weight) eventually form Team Shaolin and enter the Golden Cup Tournament.  Their skills and honor will be put to the test as they progress through the tournament and face Team Evil.   Redemption will be found, sacrifices will be made, and true love will be realized.

To summarize:

Action...check.

Romance...check.

Special effects...check.

Humor...check.

Occasional bad English translation...check.

Awesome Kung Fu...check.

Fun for the whole family...check.

This movie starts a little slow as the characters are introduced but is well worth the wait as you progress to the soccer scenes.  I wish all sports movies could be as exciting and fun as this one.

My kids laughed and cheered throughout the movie.  There’s good reason for this.  The movie is great.  For many years it was the highest grossing movie in Hong Kong, until it was surpassed by another Stephen Chow movie. 

If you haven’t ever seen a Stephen Chow movie, then I am sorry.  You are missing out.  Watch Shaolin Soccer.  Then go track down Kung Fu Hustle.  You won’t be disappointed.

Retro Gaming with the Family--Atari 2600

There’s no hiding the fact that my favorite console of all time is the Atari 2600 (my first real console as a kid).  I had so many fond memories of playing my Atari that I have tried on many occasions, unsuccessfully I might add, to share my love of this great console with my family.  No matter how hard I tried, something on the XBOX, Wii, or DS seemed to hold my kids’ attention better than the classic gameplay of the Atari 2600.    

This last weekend, the weather was abysmal, so I decided to try one last time to get the family interested in the old wood-grain box in my closet.  I set up a retro gaming weekend for the family and decided to hide the controllers to any modern system in the house.

Despite some initial grumbling about no Mario, XBOX, etc., I ended up with several volunteers willing to play “Dad’s old piece of junk.”

This time, however, I stacked the deck.  I pulled out the best of the best of my collection (sorry Human Cannonball; I loved playing you as a kid, but you didn’t make the cut).  Space Invaders, Pitfall, River Raid, Berzerk, Asteroids, Yars Revenge, The Empire Strikes Back, Kaboom, Atlantis, Frogger, Night Driver, Centipede, Defender, Vanguard and many, many more were served up to a family trapped in the house by Mother Nature. 

The kids were captivated with the gameplay, and the choice of games.   Two games, however, were played more than all the rest and became the favorites of the group—Warlords and Combat.  

Single player games, and high scores are one thing, but destroying your friend or family member and earning temporary bragging rights of dominance is another.  That’s why multiplayer games were invented, and why Warlords and Combat excel. 

I thoroughly enjoyed watching my family fire up Combat and try virtually every variation of the game.  We fought tank battles, invisible tank battles, three on one dogfight, invisible dogfight, one on one jets with and without clouds, etc.  The short time limit per game allowed multiple turns and set a frenetic pace to rack up the kills on your opponent.  Although my sons put up quite a fight, experience with the joystick helped one middle-aged gamer keep up a pretty good win streak.  When you are old, you will take any bit of help and competitive advantage you can get. 

As for Warlords, that will be for a different blog coming soon.

This weekend was definitely a success.  My sons have asked me to hook up my Atari (no longer called “Dad’s old piece of junk") in their room.  They can’t wait until we play it again.  Over the span of a few hours, my family helped me relive a little bit of my childhood, and my kids gained a better understanding of the history of video games.  I have to say it was a weekend well spent.  Thanks Atari.        

Farewell King Size Snickers Bar

Today, Mars Inc., the fine folks who make such great products like Snickers and Twix bars, announced that they are going to stop selling their products with more than 250 calories in them by the year 2014.

This great idea is “part of an ongoing effort to improve the nutritional value of its products and to sell them in a responsible way.”

Really….

Has anyone ever seriously thought that a chocolate candy bar was a responsible or nutritional snack?

A Snickers bar is meant for enjoyment not health (seems like I said basically the same thing in my Pepsi blog). A Snickers bar contains no nutritional benefits. If you want something healthy, then Jamie Lee Curtis recommends Activia rather than a Snickers bar. You do have a choice. 

I have mixed feelings about this announcement. I should be happy that companies are trying to fight the obesity epidemic, but I don’t think removing the king size chocolate bars will make much of a difference. Last time I checked I could buy two regular sized bars if a king size isn’t available.

Farewell King Size Snickers bar. You will be missed…. and eventually replaced with two regular sized bars full of political correctness. Yum!!!!!



For the full story, click here:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/02/16/mars-chocolate-idUSL2E8DG06320120216

Lessons learned--Skyrim

For the first time in many months, the stars aligned, and I was given a few hours to attack the pile of shame. There were many games to pick from, but there was one at the top of the pile staring at me, daring me to play.

Skyrim

It’s going to take me about 50 years to finish this game, so don’t expect a review any time soon. There are tons of reviews out there if you need to check one out. For me, I am going to chronicle a few things about my time in Skyrim. I am saving the kingdom, albeit slowly, but learning a lot along the way.

Lessons learned (5 hours in):

1.  Save often.
2.  If your character is at level 3, don’t try to kill a giant. Really, don’t. Just wait awhile.  If you try, you will be impressed with your ability to fly.
3.  If your character is at level 3, don’t try to kill a giant’s mammoths. Seriously, don’t. Maybe you will have better luck killing a chicken in the village.
4.   Leave the chickens alone. Killing one will get you in a lot of trouble. Who am I kidding? Avoid mammoths and chickens. Do some leveling up first.
5.  Whenever the prompt comes up to steal something, don’t do it in front of someone, even if you are carrying a large axe.  It never ends well. 
6.  Don’t step on ornate floor tiles in caves.  Look but don't touch.
7.  When stealth is required, give squatting a try.  Squatting down seems to make you invisible to the world.
8. If your character is at level 4, oh never mind.  See lesson 2.

If these lessons don’t make a lot of sense, pick up the game. You’ll see I am right, and no matter what happens, avoid killing chickens. You’ll thank me for that advice.


Minor Spoiler--youtube video of someone fighting giants